Happy Easter!

Our family wanted to wish all of you, a very Happy Easter! What a blessed day this is! We're looking forward to celebrating our dear Lord. And spending plenty of time, with our family and friends!

I just might have baked a few of these cakes. And have tons of food, for later. The Easter bunny has visited. And we have our Sunday Best ready! Our family from Texas, has been visiting. And we hope to have an amazing day with them! Happy Easter!

~Manders

Stylish Baby!

I'm always telling my sister, that she should have a baby. I know, I'm a bad influence! But she's been married nearly 2 years. And I know that she would be such a GREAT mom!

Lizzie likes to come and visit us, as often as she can. We live a couple of hours from each other, and she works full time. So it can get a little complicated sometimes. Being that she is usually off at the beginning of the week. And Lauren goes to school M-F.

But when T-Li, that's what my kiddos call her, comes over, it's always loads of fun! My sister is known to crawl into Lauren's playhouse, for hours of play. T-Li likes to dress up in a tutu and high heels, to pick up Lauren from dance practice. Heck, my sister runs through the sprinklers with the kids, 5 minutes before we leave for church! :)

I told you, she's fun. One of the things my girls like the most, is playing "dress up" with T-Li. She ALWAYS brings my kids new, and very stylish clothes. Fashion is very important to my little sis. I tell her, she need a baby, to dress up too!



This hat just reminds me of my sister. I can just imagine it. If Lizzie were to have a little boy, she'd dress him up in little button up shirts, and the hippest hats. Probably with little loafers. Forget it, if she had a little girl!

But I guess I'm just dreaming now. I'd LOVE it, if my little sister would have a baby. But I know that's not in her immediate plans. That's OK. But I'm pretty sure, I'm going to make this hat. And save it. Maybe a little "lovebird" will come sooner than later! :)

~Manders

Little Chaps

My nephew is nearly 6 months old. I can't believe it! Where has the time gone? I wish that we could see him more often. But with Lauren in school, well we just don't get to Texas as much as we'd like.

But our little buddy is getting big. And scooting around. If you haven't noticed by now...my hubby is a cowboy. A genuine cowboy! He used to be a bull rider. No lie! Thank goodness he was ending that chapter of his life, when we met. But it's an important part of our life.

With that being said, Lauren has been "Mutton Busting" for a few years. Robbie, loves to chase animals around the yard. Abby is the only one, that is happy, to just look at the animals. But we still love to dress up our kiddos. They have many pairs of Wranglers...and boots!

I got to thinking. I want to make my nephew something. Something that is "western" inspired. Cute. And that is useful. Remember I told you that he's nearly 6 months old? He's getting mobile now. So this pattern...well it just made me smile!



A pair of chaps! Perfection! My brother-in-law is totally a cowboy. Wears chaps every day. I think these would be incredible for our nephew. :) Perfect to put over his little jeans, as he crawls around the porch.

Another thing, I think you should check out Cobbler's Cabin. It's a great blog! Full of A-M-A-Z-I-N-G patterns. That I want to try out. Especially this sweater. I think it would look nice in navy. Just go see this wonderful blog. You won't regret it!

~Manders

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patty's Day! Do you have any special plans? Well, we did. Until Wednesday. When we found out, Lauren had to dance. It was a last minute thing. So it put a wrench in our plans. But that's OK. We all enjoy, watching her. She's seriously, the cutest little dancer, that I've ever seen! :)

We are starting our day with green pancakes. Yum! Billy has actually, just headed down to the kitchen. And our kiddos, are all half asleep. Just climbed into Mommy and Daddy's bed, for Saturday morning cartoons. How else, would you start St. Patty's Day?



After Lauren performs, we're going to my friend's Baby Shower. She expecting her 3rd baby. Her 1st little girl! Talk about an excited lady! :) And we get to see Lola again! She's hosting the shower.

Then the whole "Birthday Party Schedule," sorta fell through. Because of this dance thing. And Spring Break. And my In-Laws can't come. Oh, and the Rodeo next weekend. That means, Sals is going to have her 2 parties next weekend. And I'll have our 2, the following weekend. Gives me a few more days, to finish up my projects!

It's not all bad news. Just a few complcations. But nothing, that we can't deal with. I'd rather postpone, and have my In-Laws here. It wouldn't be the same, without them. And this way, I can help Sals.

My girls and I, are sporting our green nails. And we've all, picked out something green to wear. Billy and Robbie have big plans today. To go help J, with a project. I'm not exactly sure of the details. But it's "Guy Time." That I'm sure, they're all excited about!

I better get going. I have lots of cuddling to do! With my 3 kiddos. Before breakfast is ready. And our day really begins. Happy St. Patty's Day, from our house, to yours!

~Manders

Super Cute!

In the last few months, so many people we know, have welcomed a new little one. It's such a blessing! In the next few months, we know of a handful of babies, who will also be born. I'm telling you, this is such a joy!

I've wanted to branch out. And make a few gifts. Something made with love. I've made a few things for our nephew. And our friends' little girl. But I'd like to make a few more gifts. For some upcoming Baby Showers, that I'm invited to.

I'm not the fastest crocheter. Nor the best. But I try. I have a few projects that I'm working on, for my own kids. So I was looking for something simple. But cute. And I found just that, in this pattern!



I'm seeking some help from Lola. I want to make the hat for newborns. And well, Lola has been at this, a lot longer than me! I want to have 3 or 4 done, by May. Fingers crossed. I can get this done! Because this hat, is seriously cute! I wonder if Abby would like one too...

~Manders

New in 2012: Box Play for Kids

Not long ago, my sister-in-law and I were talking. I swear to you, Robbie is obsessed with boxes! For Christmas it's ALL he wanted to play with. Every time we get a package, he just wants the box! My SIL was telling me, that her sons are the same way.

My SIL made a wonderful discovery last year. Box Play for Kids. Have you heard about them? It's a company, that sells stickers. Not just any stickers. But stickers to put on boxes, egg cartons, milk cartons, and toilet paper rolls. Which turn the boxes into new toys! Yes, they are adorable! And guess what, my SIL sent my kiddos a bunch! This is what we got to try out this week! Just look at what we got. :)



Remember, they were mostly for Robbie. My boy. So this tractor was just perfect! And only $5. It's made for hours, and hours of good playtime!



How about a cow? Around our family, this is the best $8 you could spend! We're all about farm animals!



Let's play doctor. This eye chart is too cute! And just $6. I can hear my twins, for hours, playing with this box. I'm not lying. They even hold a cup over one eye! :)



How about a $5 piano? This is one of Abby's favorites! She sings to herself, and pretends to play. She even tells Billy, that she's practicing to be in the BBs!!!



A $5 camera! This one, all 3 of my kids love! I'm kinda of wanting to order a couple more of these. Because they go around, "snapping pictures," all day long!



How about bowling? This set is only $4! And has given our family, hours of fun. We actually got 3 sets of these. And set it up, in our hallway. Literally, our kids could play for hours!



An $8 pink refrigerator. Where was this, when we were buying stuff for Lauren's Little Pink Playhouse? Could have saved us some serious money!



How about a Bento Box for pretend play? This one is $6. And I see Lauren and Abby "feeding" their babies for hours and hours. So cute!



I'm not going to lie, after my SIL told me about this website, I went to peak around. I bookmarked it. And said I was going to order a few things. That was before the holidays. And just the other day, I was thinking about this website. And I figured that I'd order some stuff, for Easter.

But after we got our gifts, I went back to the website. I'm telling you, my kids are in LOVE with these stickers! And guess what I found? Some free Valentine's! Immediately, I downloaded the file. This was one of the gifts we gave our kids. :) Filled with lots of goodies. I also made some, for our friends' kiddos!

Who in the world, would have thought, my kids would LOVE these so much! I'll never look at a toilet paper roll the same way again. Never! Are there any fun toys or crafts, that you've found. Or think we should take a look at. Please let me know!

~Manders

Being Honest with Me

My kiddos, my gifts from God, have been in bed, for less than an hour. My hubby, the sweet man that I love, is hard at work. He's finalizing all these plans, for a work trip. That we're leaving on, this weekend. And I'm sitting here, feeling incredibly lost...

If you've noticed, I've blogged more this week, than I usually do. I'm feeling a bit lonely. A bit lost. A bit...well I can't put my finger on it. My life, is everything I've ever wanted. Plus more! I have this incredible man that I love. And whom I know, loves me in return, more than any one person can love. We have 3 amazing, and healthy children. A beautiful home. Food on our table. Health. A good and steady income. Which these days, is not common.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for all these things. But something is missing. And I can't put my finger on it. I just don't know what it is. But it's bothering me. Do you ever feel this way?



I think I've been panicking about things, that I just can't control. We were supposed to go to Texas this Friday, but it just didn't work out. And you know what, it really bothers me. I was looking forward, to spending time with Billy's family. And I was honestly, looking forward to spending some time on the Ranch.

Lizzie and I, just haven't been spending much time together. I know. We're both married now. We live about 90 minutes away, from one other. But I miss my sister. The weather hasn't helped either. It makes the roads bad, and then neither of us, wants to travel. Even when we've planned to.

Speaking of the weather, it's also made me a bit sad. Or restless. Maybe both. The kids and I leave to take Lauren to school. But we only get out of the car to take her inside. And maybe for a quick run to the grocery store. We then stay inside, all day. Until we go pick Lauren up. There are the drives to church, and dance practice. But that's it.

I'm 100% positive, it's bothering the entire family. But it's been so cold. And more windy than normal. The wind is so strong. I know the twins can't handle it. Heck, I have to carry them, when it gets real bad. Because they just can't stand up. My poor babies!

But all these things are wearing on me. I can feel it. I'm so tense. I can't turn my thoughts off. I almost feel like I'm panicking. Somewhere deep down inside. It's so nuts, that I was literally mad at the TV, on Monday night. Because we weren't getting a signal. The weather was that bad. Our kiddos were asleep. The internet connection was weak. Billy was working. I just got frustrated, and went to bed. I wasn't even sleepy!

Today, I called my friend. Lola always has this amazing outlook on life. If you read her blog, or have the pleasure of knowing her, you know what I mean. :) She's positive, during the worst of times. She has had to battle cancer, off and on, for a few years now. And she never once, gets mad. Or asks why. She just smiles, and looks for the good in life.

I knew, in my heart and soul, that I needed to talk to her. I spent the twins' nap time on the phone. Telling her what was going on. How I was feeling. And she just listened. Reassured me, as I cried. And in the end, she had some words, that just hit home.

What did Lola tell me? To just hand over my burdens to God. To pray. To pray hard. With my entire body, mind, spirit, heart, and soul. Just pray. And really mean it. To ask God, to carry some of these burdens, as I work through them. One at a time. And to talk to Billy. I've been bad about that. I've been keeping all this inside. He knows that something is bothering me. But I just refuse to burden him.

I know this is wrong. He's my husband. My partner. The man that has promised, to go through life, by my side, loving me. I know this. But sometimes, I just don't want to bother him. Then Lola reminded me of this guy. And how he has this incredibly crazy schedule. Lives in the spotlight. And that she still turns to him. When things are too tough for her, she leans on him. And he loves more for it. Happily helping her, through some of her toughest problems.

Lastly, she reminded me of my 3 beautiful babies. My entire life revolves around them. I remember as a little girl, praying to God, to let me be a mommy one day. And my dreams came true. I was blessed with 3 beautiful and healthy children. That love me. And have taught me so much. I need to remember that. Remember that they're the reason, I push forward.

Earlier tonight, I talked to Billy. Really let him know what was bothering me. Sure, we were doing the dishes. And the kids were watching a movie. But I just needed to get it out. I even called my mom, as Billy took the kids a bath. It helped so much!

In the end, I realize, that I haven't been taking care of me. I've forgotten about myself. I've neglected myself. Put me, last. And if I'm going to be 100% for my family, I need to take care of me. I need to do things, that are going to make me a whole and happy person.

To be honest, all those things that I really enjoy, I've let go of. I can't even tell you, when I last went shopping for me. I have no clue! I used to go browse through the makeup, clothes, and shoes. These days, I buy makeup when I'm going to be working. I shop for clothes, because I absolutely need them. Nothing is getting done out of pleasure.

My days of leisurely reading...I don't know what happened to them. I have a pile of magazines, that I haven't even touched! I have 4 books that I started, and still haven't made it past the 3rd chapter. I just don't do things for me.

Billy and I have talked about this. And we've made a deal. Granted that Lizzie feels the same way. At least once a month, he's going to play Mr. Mom. Just for the day, all day! So I can go see my sister. Nothing too crazy. Just lunch and talking. Billy will stay home with the twins, and get Lauren to school. And dance practice.

I think part of my anxiety is, I've been thinking a lot about my brothers. Robert has really been on my mind. I don't know what it is. Maybe the fact that Robbie acts and looks, just like my brother. Maybe I feel guilty. You know, because I have this amazing life. One that he never got to experience. And I stress about my little brother. When will he return to the USA? He's in the Marines. And is still at war. I worry about him all the time!

I've had a lot on my mind. I don't want to burden my friends. Or my family. But I'm realizing, I can't do this on my own. I know that Sals has her hands full. But I definitely know, she gets this mommy stress. I need to not be afraid, to talk to her. I need to make more time, to talk with Lola. She always keeps my head on straight.

Bless you, if you've made it this far. I rarely, if ever, blog like this. I find blogging to be fun. It's something I do, to make myself feel better. I want to add positive thoughts to the world. I want to share things with my readers and friends. Not burden them!

I miss blogging about silly things...like makeup, shopping, and other hobbies of mine. I need to get back to that. Carve out a little space for me. And my interests. I don't want to lose myself. I want to show my kids, that it's important to stay true to yourself. To add things to the world.

Every morning, I start my day, with reading the bible. But I want to add, some more meaningful thoughts. I go to bible study, once a week. And I want to incorporate some of that, into my morning reading. I've also bought a journal. A place to get all those buried feelings and thoughts out. A little more private than my blog. A place, where I can be honest with myself.

I hope I don't scare anyone away. But I just needed to get this out. Sometimes, mommy-hood can get a little overwhelming. A little stressful. And a little lonely. The important thing to remember is, we're not alone. There are so many mommas out there. That are going through the same thing. And we all have God. He's our biggest supporter.

I'm off now. To soak in the tub. With lots of bubbles. And my favorite magazine. Something I haven't done, in so very long! Billy and I, just might get a little crazy, and break out the ice cream too. The best late night snack.

I hope that this post can help someone else. To show you, that we all struggle along the way. That we're not alone. I'm learning, that I can't plan everything. I can't control everything. I'm discovering who I am. And what I really want. What's most important in life. And I know now, that I deserve it. And I need it.

~Manders

Quick and Easy!

Do you remember when I blogged about Whoopie Pies? Yes, they are a favorite of my family! But I've never made them. Never attempted them. Because, when my mother-in-law makes them, it looks so complicated!

Until now. My sister came to visit us. Actually, she made the trip, to pick up some Valentine's Day presents. Since it was her day off, I convinced her to stay over. You know, we needed some sister time. :)

Lizzie came, with bags of stuff. Bags! She was putting together her hubby's present. My kiddos were so excited! I know that my sister only lives 90 minutes away, but we don't get to see each other, as often as we'd like. Bummer!

Monday was definitely a nice surprise! My kids got some early Valentine's Day presents. There was lots of yummy food, good movies, and lots of laughs. Did I mention that Lizzie is hilarious? 'Cause she is! But guess what else...she brought this with her!




Yes, we made them almost immediately! They were super easy and quick. When did Pillsbury start making these kits? Because they are lifesavers! We tweeked it a bit. Because we felt like strawberry frosting. And Lauren wanted to try some other sprinkles.

I keep thinking about these. The kit made 12 whoopie pies. They were gone by the end of the night. And I want to make more! Um, Lizzie what are you doing this week? This should become a monthly thing, that we do. :)

~Manders

Yum!

When I first met Billy, he always talked about Whoopie Pies. I honestly didn't know, what in the world they were. My entire life changed, in more ways than one, when I met Billy's family. I always remember meeting my mother-in-law. She came, with a HUGE tray of whoopie pies. And a HUGE hug! And these little desserts, they were delicious!

Every time we see Billy's mom, she greets us with a different variety. All yummy! But for some reason, I've never tried making them. Maybe I worry, that mine won't be as good as hers. And to be honest, I've never wanted to learn how to make them. Until now. When I read this recipe.



Don't these whoopie pies look so yummy? I think so. And I want to try them out this weekend. I'm thinking, if they turn out well, this would be perfect for Valentine's Day! More specifically, for Lauren's class. I think she'd enjoy talking these to school. With her little cards. By the way, if you haven't read Shay's blog, you are missing out! There are so many great recipes there!

~Manders

Once Upon a Time

I've ALWAYS had a soft spot for fairy tales. When I was little, I still remember a trip to an Antique Store. My mom had taken my brother and I. And there was this big book of Fairy tales. Printed in the 1950s. And I wanted it! So badly!!!

But before we had even gone inside, my mom had told us, we each had $5 to spend. That was it. Because she was there to buy a dresser. For our new baby! My dear book, was $10. Because it was gigantic! My brother had found, a big yellow dump truck. He really wanted his toy too!

I think you know by now, that my big brother and I, were super close. He was just so good to me. Always taking care of me. Robert, was seriously, the best big brother you could dream up! Well, he saw me. Pining over my book...

He came up to me, and asked me what was wrong. I told him, that I wanted this book. It had all these stories. All about princesses, and far off places. The pictures were amazing! But I didn't have enough money. He put down his truck. And picked up my book. I remember him studying it. With such intensity. Then he took my hand, and told me that we'd buy it.

I was in shock! 4 years old, and in shock! I didn't want him to miss out on his truck. But Robert insisted, this was much more important. So I helped him hide his truck. I promised myself, that I'd buy it for him. For his birthday. (I did! And I'll have to blog about that, another day.) And we bought our book.

From then on, we would sit and read together. Robert would read me 1 story, every day. Well into the time, he started middle school. Once, when I had gotten my heart broken, my brother had gone to search for our book. It had been a few years since we had read from it. I was a teen already. And Robert read to me, while I cried. I remember this. Because it was so incredibly sweet!

And after Robert past away, I found myself, going to his grave. To read to him. It made me feel close to my big brother. And it always comforted me. I still have this book. It's so special to me! And I read to my kids, out of the book, that my brother bought me. :)

As you can tell, I've always had this soft spot for fairy tales. When I heard about Once Upon a Time, I just had to watch it! I've quickly become a HUGE fan! For about 3 months now, I've never missed an episode!



I'm telling you, you need to watch this show. It's like the adults' version of our most beloved Fairy tales. I LOVE it! It's like the background, to all of our favorite stories. It's funny, every time that I watch this show, I think of my brother. I think of all those nights, when he'd read me a new story. And in some way, I feel close to him again. Like we're watching this together!

~Manders

Oh Mrs. Paula!!!

One of the things, that I really wanted for Christmas, was Paula Deen's new cookbook. The Southern Cooking Bible. I'm not from the South. I'm from the Southwest. But my husband, he's from the South. And he enjoys his Southern Cooking!

Over the last 6 1/2 years, I've picked up on some of his favorite recipes. I ALWAYS convince my mother-in-law, to show me something new. Because, I want to make my man happy! ;) But I've been looking for a good cookbook. One that I'd use often. And would really enjoy. That's when I heard about Mrs. Paula's new book!



I'm not lying when I say this. It's the only thing I asked Billy for. And he thought I was nuts! I know he did. He happened to tell my MIL about it. And she thought it was a cute idea. But it wasn't until my dear sister-in-law heard, that someone finally took me serious.

I was so pleasantly surprised, when I opened my Christmas present, from my BIL and SIL. It was my cookbook! And let me tell you, Mrs. Paula didn't disappoint! This is such a great cookbook. It makes me want to run out, and buy a copy for each of my friends, and my sister. :)

This is one of those cookbooks, that I'm going to get a lot of use out of! I've already tried 5 or 6 recipes. My favorite thus far, being the Banana Cream Pie! Yum! I just made it right before we went to Las Vegas, and I already want to make it again. :) Let me tell you, this is a must have!

~Manders

It's 2012...Great News!

Where do I begin? 2012, is already off to a GREAT start! I'm pretty sure, that it's safe to tell you all. Megan and Robbie, our good friends, got engaged. Shortly after midnight, on New Year's! :) It was super sweet. They've dated for a long time. A super long time! But then again, Billy and I only dated for 4 months, before we got married. :)

Robbie had everything planned out. He bought the ring, and then asked all of us ladies, what we thought about it. Honestly, it was perfect. Just what Megan likes. The BBs were performing. And right before midnight, all of us "significant others," joined the band on stage. We counted down until midnight. And before you knew it, Robbie was down on one knee! It was so perfect. And beautiful!



In other great news, my little brother who's in the Marines, is coming home! He has been stationed overseas, for almost his entire career! Let me tell you, it completely stresses me out. I pray for him, multiple times a day. But I know, that he's doing exactly what he wants to do. We had a serious talk one day, and he told me, this was his calling. This is what he's supposed to be doing with his life. I respect that. And I'm so proud of my brother. But let me tell you, when he told us, that he was coming back to the USA in September, I just about died of happiness!

Like I said, I know that he enjoys his job. To him, it's his calling. But it will be nice, to have my brother a little closer to home. In a much safer environment. At least for a little while. I know that our entire family, is looking forward to this.

And the last of our big and happy news, Billy's brother and his wife, are expecting baby #6! We're so happy for them. I think that this is going to be their last little one. So it's a little bittersweet. Do you know what I mean? We felt the same way, with our twins. We were excited about our twins. But we were sad, knowing that we wouldn't have anymore babies.

Yes, 2012 is already looking up. So many great things to look forward too. 2 days in, is your 2012 looking good? I hope so. With the state of the world, and our country, we all need something to hold onto. Something to give us some hope.

~Manders

If Only...

If only I had thought of this idea. At least a few weeks ago. Or at the very least, seen this picture. It would have made me, and some sweet little girls, very happy!



Yes, 5 days before Christmas, I find this picture. Actually, my sister-in-law sent it to me. I would have loved to make little food for my girls. But I'm just not that good at crocheting...not yet anyone. To make this in 5 days. So I will save this picture. And tackle this at a later day. Maybe for my girls' birthdays. If only, I'd had this a month ago...

~Manders

Boy Crochet...Needing Some Help

My SIL recently found out she is having a little boy. We're so excited for her and my BIL. I really want to crochet something for them. But I can't find any good boy patterns. Either they are really ugly. Or too girly. Can someone help me out? I don't mind buying the pattern either. I just don't want a girly stitch. Something for a little man to wear. Thanks!

~Manders

Ruffled Tulip Doily

Today's pattern from Free Patterns reminds me of my grandma. She really liked doilies. Her house wasn't "overwhelmed" by them. But she would make a bunch of them. And change them with the seasons. Or I guess when she wanted new colors around the house. Because she always had different colored doilies up. Every time we'd go visit her. But I loved them! I loved how delicate and ladylike they looked. Maybe one day I'll be able to make some. :)

~Manders

Peachy Kitchen Twosome

My sister called me just a few minutes ago. She asked me if I could make these for her. It's the free pattern of the day from Free Patterns. She wants them in white. Or maybe a light blue. Why? Because our grandma always has these type of things in her kitchen. Since when does Lizzie look at Free Patterns? Not sure. But I need to get good enough to make my little sister something special for her home. :)

~Manders

My Date with Lauren

I have to admit it. I'm very lucky. Our family is very lucky. We have some amazing people that love us a lot! How much? Enough to travel with us! By that I mean that both my parents and my in-laws having been traveling with us.

We're on our 2nd week of work. I haven't worked full time since Billy and I got married. I've really only done Lola's gigs. Stuff with the BBs mostly. To be honest, the band is really been slowing down for the last few years. All the guys are getting married and starting families. To be completely honest, this was just a hobby for them.

But they are so good! And every year, there are a number of gigs that they have contracts for. Without trying. They just land these big shows. And we travel. It wasn't so bad before. When we just had Lauren. But add into the mix, our twins, and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle all of this.

Then my parents and my in-laws offered to come with us. My parents had such a fun time last week! Really spoiling my kids. And this week, they're sharing their grandkids with my in-laws. Allowing Billy and I to work. Is it still hard? Yes, very much so. Because I'm still breastfeeding the twins. The gigs are a little crazy and spread out. And most nights, we're working from 4pm-3am. It's a long night!

But we have an amazing support system. And to get the chance to be creative a couple of times a year, it's honestly a blessing! So we embrace it. And the kids love being with their grandparents!

But tonight, I had some time off. And I wanted to take Lauren out. We got all dressed up. I curled her hair. And she even asked for lipgloss. Which I was so happy to give her! We started off with manicure/pedicures. Let me tell you, my daughter was over the moon to have her little feet soaking, while her fingernails were being painted pink!

We went out to dinner. Thanks to our amazing bosses, we got to go to a very fancy restaurant. Lauren was so excited to have such a fancy dinner. With a big girl drink...a Shirley Temple. She just loved the cherry! We even split a molten chocolate cake with ice cream. Just thinking about it, makes me so happy!

And we wouldn't be girls if we didn't do some shopping. My little girl is finally starting to grow a bit. So we bought some fun new clothes. She modeled them for me when I took her to try them on. And we laughed so much.

It was such a blessing to spend so much time with Lauren. Since the twins were born, I've felt a little guilty. Because it used to be just me and Lauren. But she loves her brother and sister so much. I know that she is happy. I just need to remember to plan more of these evenings.

As we were driving back, she cuddled into me. And told me that she loves me to the moon and back! The whole way, she held tightly to my hand. And as I put Lauren to bed, she told me this was the bestest day ever! I feel the same way. Love you big girl!

~Mommy Manders

I Am a Child of God

"But to all who have received him-those who believe in his name-he has given the right to become God’s children." John 1:12

I've always been tough on myself. I am the oldest girl in my family. 2nd oldest in my family. And after my brother past away, I felt like I needed to take care of everyone.

The last 9 months have been tough. I can't lie. I've been trying to be "Super Mommy" and "Super Wife." Slowly, I've been losing myself.

It might have something to do with my need for perfection, in my life and in my home. No I'm not that mom! I'm actually the "Fun House" for play dates. I like to let the kids play with play doh, finger paints, etc. But I like for our house to be clean. At night, I want to go to bed knowing that everything is in it's place. That our clothes were washed, dried, and put away. That our kids' toys have made it to their toy boxes. That sort of thing. Oh, and that all the dishes are washed and put away!

But I never estimated what a set of twins would really do to my life. I love these 2 little babies like nobody's business. I LOVE my 3 kiddos with all of my heart. But life has been crazy!

It started with my 6th month of pregnancy. When life started to get really tough. Traveling was beyond hard! Work exhausted me. And Billy noticed. So he asked his Dad if he could do more of the busy work stuff. Not so much of the traveling. The stuff that allowed him to be home. And I didn't do any jobs until after the babies were born.

Even our daily schedules changed. Since Billy and I first got together, I would get up at 4:30am with him! Every morning. He would shower, and I would make his breakfast. For anyone who is married to a cowboy, this is pretty normal. Sometimes we were up at 3am! I'd eat too. He'd go to work. I'd shower. I'd check my email, do online stuff, and then take a 2-3 hour nap. Then my day was back on track.

Month 6 of my pregnancy, Billy started making his own breakfast. Letting me sleep. He was starting to understand how difficult it was going to be with twins. And I have to say this, he's been wonderful! He would take the girls to their Dance classes on my days. And I have to admit it here, there were plenty of nights when I fell asleep before Lauren did.

After the twins were born, Billy remained at home. I know after the first of the year, that will change again. But it's been a blessing thus far! He has only left out of town for big gigs. Oh, and that hunting trip that I made him go on. He needed a break too!

But it's tough. I'm "on call" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I breastfed Lauren. But that was nowhere near this. Breastfeeding twins. I feel like at all moments in the day, I have a child or pump attached to me. But I want to do this for them. It's the one thing that I can do right now, that will improve their health over their lifetimes.

And there's Lauren. I always feel so bad. Like I don't get enough time with her. She is in her dance classes Mon-Fri, 8am-noon. And at least 1 Saturday a month, she performs. I feel like we don't have as much time to spend together. And I guess what really stresses me out is, in 1 year, she will be in pre-school!

The other night, I just broke down. I had just put the babies down. Billy had read to Lauren. And she had fallen asleep before I got to tell her goodnight. I went downstairs, and I realized I had left wet laundry in the washer. The dryer also had a load of wet and very stinky clothes. And the sink was overflowing with dinner dishes.

Literally, I sat on our stairs and cried. Billy was outside with the dogs. Letting them do their business before bringing them in for the night. And he saw me. He had no clue what was going on. I just sat there crying.

Like his usual self, he came in to see what was wrong. He didn't ask me anything. Just scooped me up in his strong arms and let me cry. And when I was done crying, I spilled the beans. It was tough to admit that I can't handle it all. But it was also such a HUGE relief!

Today in church, the priest told us a story about a woman. And he read the scripture, John 1:12. It just hit me. I'm a child of God!

It doesn't matter if our home is spotless. Or if I had to dry and rewash 2 loads of laundry. Or that my husband washed the dishes. And the next morning I had to rewash them. He tried his best! Heck, it doesn't matter if by dinnertime, my hair is in a messy bun, I've got baby cereal on my shirt, the twins are in onesies, Lauren has one 2 different socks on, oh and I might have burnt part of dinner.

Because my kids are happy. And healthy. They're clean and well fed. Our home is clean. Not spotless, but clean. I love my husband, and he loves me. We have an amazing family. And great friends.

So I might not get to have breakfast with Billy every morning. I can't leave my babies for more than 2 hours at a time. And that's pushing it! I schedule time with Lauren, when her siblings are napping. I don't wear makeup most days. My hair is in a permanent messy bun. And I can't remember the last time I went out to lunch with my friends.

I LOVE my life! It's not perfect. But that's not the way life is supposed to go. The constants that I have, are my friends and family. I owe a lot to Lola. Who doesn't mind listening to me cry, my kids screaming, and my never-ending list of worries. She's here for me. Even if we live so far from one another.

That's what God has given me. Amazing friends. And loving family. That's what life is about. I get to snuggle with my babies. I feed them and watch them grew healthy and happy. I get to hug my daughter. And play dress up and dance around the house to "Princess music." I get to make love to my hubby. Maybe not as often as I'd like. Not going to lie here, some nights, I fall asleep with my kiddos. Before they are asleep! And I get to chat with Lola. About the problems in my life, about her amazing love story, and silly things...like makeup.

I'm a child of God. And I'm proud. He has given me struggles. But he's also blessed my life so much! I don't need to be so hard on myself. Because I was not created to be perfect. But to serve the Lord. To grow healthy and beautiful children. To love my husband. And to do great things in the Lord's name.

~Manders

PS I wouldn't mind a little "Couple Time" with my hubby. I'm just saying...you know, we just had an anniversary! :)

16 Years

Today marks the 16th anniversary, of my brother Robert's passing. The pain is still there. Not as raw, but still there. There are still days that I wake up and I want to talk to him. Days that I wish we could sit and talk about life. Talk about raising a family. I know he would probably have 8 kids by now! He'd tease me because I'm trying to raise my 3 precious kiddos, but feeling very overwhelmed by it. Or laugh that I made a career out of my love for makeup. And married a "Real Cowboy."

Last year, I really felt close to Robert. While I was pregnant. I don't know why. But I really did. I spent lots of time watching old videos of our family. From when we were all kids. I looked through all of my parents' old pictures. Just feeling the need to remember my brother.

I kept telling Billy that one of our babies was a boy. I just knew it. And when we found out that we were having a boy and a girl, I knew I had to name my son after Robert. Billy completely agreed.

It's funny, as Robbie is getting bigger, he just reminds me so much of my brother. Even when I put him and Abby down for a nap, he grabs her hand. Just like Robert would grab mine, when we would walk home from school. I hope that Abby and Robbie are just as close as Robert and I
were. That Robbie will always love and take care of his sisters, yes both of them. :)

I know, I must sound crazy. But my brother and I were super close. He was my hero. My big brother. The guy that looked out for me. Protected me from all of the bad things in life. You can read my post from last year. It sheds a little bit of light on this tough subject. The day we lost Robert, it changed my life. Forever.

But there was something very healing about having the twins. Almost like a piece of my brother is living through my son. My mom gets so emotional with Robbie. I catch her every once in a while, just lost in her thoughts. Usually when Robbie and Abby are napping. The tears are slowly trickling down her cheeks. Or when Robbie is laughing and playing. I have a feeling, that Robbie reminds her of Robert.

We'll never forget my brother. That's just impossible. He was such a huge and important part of our lives. But in some small way, I'm positive that Robert is now living with us. Bringing us a sense of comfort. Helping us to celebrate his life, and move forward with our lives.

We love you Robert! I promise that I'll never forget you. How could I? You taught me how to tie my shoes, count, and bait a hook to go fishing. Brother, I miss you. Rest in peace.

~Manders

It's Almost Here

My little sister's wedding is just around the corner. I can't believe it! My little sister is getting married! My little brother is getting to take leave to come. We're all so excited! He's been in Iraq for what seems like a decade! The weekend of the wedding is going to be filled with all kinds of love and family time. Including the twins' baptism. :)

I'm very happy though, with all this breastfeeding, I'm losing the baby weight quickly. I'm actually only 5lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. It's been just over a month. I can't believe it! I eat at least 8 times a day. But with twins, well just trying to feed them takes a lot of calories!

I'm going for a fitting this week. I'm not sure what to expect. I'm almost in my regular clothes. But not my regular bras or tops. It will probably take until after I stop breastfeeding to get there. I'm just praying that this beautiful dress looks nice when I go try it on.

By the way, Lauren is very excited! She is the flower girl. And her dress is just adorable! She also has a fitting this week. It's all she can talk about. The other day, she was practicing with a basket of flower petals my mom bought her from the Dollar Tree. :)

~Manders