If I Could Knit...

I'd make this Bunny Hat and Booties set. So adorable!! Couldn't you just see a precious baby girl, in this hat. And these booties, are just too cut for words! If I could knit, I'd make this, for a sweet baby girl. That is soon to make her appearance in our family!

~Manders

The Train

A while back, Lola was telling me about this AMAZING train! That is just a few hours away. And they specialize, in a "Child's Ride." On this, real train. An old fashioned train! Lola and this guy, went on the "Adult version," of the train ride. Back in October. And they loved it!



So I did some research. The train runs from the late Spring, well into Fall. And it sounds like a great idea! The regular ride, is an all day adventure. But the "Kid Version," is just an afternoon. After talking with Billy, we made reservations. I'm positive, that the kids are going to love it!

Between, we're going to stay in a cute, mountain town. For a couple of days. And our friends, Sals and David, are also going on the train! I'm not sure, when they booked their trip. But I sorta hope, that we're all going, at the same time. I think it would be so much fun! 8 kids, and 4 adults. On an open car train. In the mountains. I'm already so excited!

And honestly, I can't wait to see Robbie, on the train. I feel like, so much of the time, he gets stuck doing "Girl Things." Because he has 2 big sisters. And much of the time, we're doing things, that Lauren enjoys. This is definitely, a much more "Boy Oriented" activity. But something, that I'm positive, all of us will enjoy! We've already started counting down...we go in June!

~Manders

Bedroom Ideas

With our "Big Girl," turning 5 yesterday, we've been wanting to do something. Something special! Lauren has pretty much, had the same room, for 5 years. It's beautiful! Lola designed it for us. Sewed everything! Cari painted beautiful murals.

But Lauren is 5 years old. And we think, it's about time, that she got a "Big Girl" room. Something more special. More Lauren. So we talked to Joe. A good friend of ours. Who is also a very talented carpenter! And Lola. A very talented designer, and organizer! We've decided, to give Lauren, a new bedroom.

So I've done a little research. A little digging around. With Lauren a bit. And a bit on my own. And this, is what we've come up with, so far.



Maybe something "Fairy Tale" inspired! Believe it or not, Billy and Joe found this. Lauren LOVES it! And from what Joe told us, this is very doable!



How about a Cinderella carriage? Maybe a little over the top for us! But this definitely reminded me of Sarita!



How about this? Much more Lauren's style! But honestly, would my daughter, ever get rest? Would she sleep? Or would she want to play all night?



This is the same idea, but I think is a little more "sleep friendly." A place that Lauren, could actually sleep! But still have some fun in. :)



Or should we go with something more "Grown Up?" Something that Lauren can "grow into." That say, in 5 or 10 years, she can still use.

So many decisions! But our Big Girl deserves it! We might not know, what the details are. What "theme" we will go with. But Lauren did tell me, it's definitely going to be pink! Oh sweet girl! I wouldn't have thought differently. This from the girl, who dreamt of pink Christmas trees!

What do you think? Are we crazy? Do you have any ideas? I do know, it's not going to be as detailed, as Miss Emma's Snow White room. But it will be something special. Just for Lauren!

~Manders

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patty's Day! Do you have any special plans? Well, we did. Until Wednesday. When we found out, Lauren had to dance. It was a last minute thing. So it put a wrench in our plans. But that's OK. We all enjoy, watching her. She's seriously, the cutest little dancer, that I've ever seen! :)

We are starting our day with green pancakes. Yum! Billy has actually, just headed down to the kitchen. And our kiddos, are all half asleep. Just climbed into Mommy and Daddy's bed, for Saturday morning cartoons. How else, would you start St. Patty's Day?



After Lauren performs, we're going to my friend's Baby Shower. She expecting her 3rd baby. Her 1st little girl! Talk about an excited lady! :) And we get to see Lola again! She's hosting the shower.

Then the whole "Birthday Party Schedule," sorta fell through. Because of this dance thing. And Spring Break. And my In-Laws can't come. Oh, and the Rodeo next weekend. That means, Sals is going to have her 2 parties next weekend. And I'll have our 2, the following weekend. Gives me a few more days, to finish up my projects!

It's not all bad news. Just a few complcations. But nothing, that we can't deal with. I'd rather postpone, and have my In-Laws here. It wouldn't be the same, without them. And this way, I can help Sals.

My girls and I, are sporting our green nails. And we've all, picked out something green to wear. Billy and Robbie have big plans today. To go help J, with a project. I'm not exactly sure of the details. But it's "Guy Time." That I'm sure, they're all excited about!

I better get going. I have lots of cuddling to do! With my 3 kiddos. Before breakfast is ready. And our day really begins. Happy St. Patty's Day, from our house, to yours!

~Manders

New in 2012: Our Kids and Opera

The Phantom of the Opera came out Sunday night. The 25th Anniversary of, The Phantom of the Opera. But we were gone working. Before we left, I set our DVR, and recorded it. Knowing that when we got back, I'd watch it over a few nights. After the kids were asleep.

What surprised me was, Billy wanted to watch it. And so did our kids! It happened on Tuesday. I was looking, for a show for the twins. We were getting Lauren ready. And it showed up on the list. Lauren asked about it. And seemed really interested in it. So we agreed, Wednesday, we'd watch it. Together.

I was a little skeptical of our plans. I can't lie. At worst, I thought, I'd watch it later that night. On Wednesday, as the twins napped, I prepared. I got out the new things I'd bought. To entertain my kids. New coloring books, crayons, small games, that kind of thing. Between, I just went to the Dollar Tree, for all of that!

Then I baked some cookies, made sure dinner was coming along in the slow cooker, and looked for snacks. I set up our den, to be "movie ready." But I was still not sure.

By the time I picked up Lauren, and Billy got home, I highly doubted, my kids would sit through this show. And boy was I shocked!



Not only did they sit through it, but they were mesmerized! Didn't make too much noise. Didn't touch all the toys. Just sat there and watched. Honestly, the 5 of us, cuddled on the couch. Almost the entire time. Eyes wide open. Taking in the entire show!

I was shocked. I didn't think my kids, would really be into this show. I didn't think, that almost 2 year olds, would find it interesting. But there was something, for everyone.

I'm positive, that Robbie enjoyed all the "special effects." Which definitely added to the show. Lauren and Abby, were both, really interested in the dancing. Especially, in the beginning. Billy was really into the music. I thoroughly enjoyed the makeup and costumes!

I really thought, that the content, would be a bit much. But the "death scenes," happened quickly. And you didn't really notice, if you weren't really paying attention. Which, my kids were not watching, that closely. When we knew someone would die, we'd distract them. And it was over in a few seconds.

My favorite part of the show, was the encore. At the end. When the older cast, performed. Quite emotional. I will say this, I'm glad that I had recorded it. Because the local channel, was using this, to "collect pledges." It was nice to skip all of that!

This was an interesting experiment. This morning, Lauren asked me, when we could watch another show like that. Interesting. Maybe we can find a "Children's Opera," to take them to. I think that would be a lot of fun.

In case you are interested in seeing the Phantom of the Opera, I'd check PBS. Here's a little clip of the show. And you can definitely check your local listings. Maybe you can catch it this weekend.. It's worth the few hours.

~Manders

Working in Las Vegas

For the last few days, we've been in Las Vegas. Mostly for work. The band was performing. And more importantly, we got to spend some time with Lola, Hills, this guy, and this guy. Friends that we don't get to see often.

Working in Las Vegas is always a lot of fun! There are so many fun things to do. With shows every night. Unfortunately, we had to leave Lauren, with my parents. Because she's in school now. But we're lucky. That my parents are able to stay with her. And of course take care of her. Thank you Mom and Dad!

I'm not going to lie, we missed our little girl. But I know she had a great time! With my parents. I have a feeling, that many afternoons, were filled with ice cream and dolls. :)



We did get to take our twins with us. During the day, we enjoyed lots of the sights. The twins are at that age, when they just soak everything up! Our favorite place, was definitely The M&M's World! The bright colors, were an instant hit! And they were mesmerized with the Fountains!

I was lucky too! Anna Marie, watched the twins at night. When I had to go to work. Let me tell you, that was HUGE! Can you just imagine me, trying to do Lola's hair and makeup, with 2 tired kids?

There was a time, when the band worked all the time! Traveled a lot more. But in the last 5 years or so, lots of things have changed. Many of us are now married, with kids. Lola has moved. And well, I think we're all in a new phase of life.

So when we get gigs like this, we all enjoy them. I know, as a group, we could book more gigs. We're asked all the time! But as a group, we find it better, to limit the jobs we work. Right now, our personal lives, mean much more to us. And honestly, I like it that way. Besides, we're all close friends. And see each other weekly, if not daily!

Yes, it's been a busy time around here. But I'm happy to be home. With my kiddos. Doing the "ordinary" things. Like cuddling in bed, watching cartoons. As Billy gets ready for the day. And doing laundry, while making snacks, for my twins. These are the things, that life is made of.

When we're old and gray, I'm sure we'll remember, lots of our gigs. I might even remember the amazing shoes, that I wore Sunday night. To that important party. Right after our show. But it's these "everyday memories," that I'm going to cherish much more!

~Manders

New in 2012: Garden in the Shade

When I first moved in, with my husband, he lived in a small house. On this property. It was run down. He actually, only lived, in 3 rooms. But Billy had started plans, for a larger home. We'd only been dating a short time. As in about 6 weeks. We met in May, and were married in September! Things moved fast.

So our home, was a blank slate. All except a few trees. 6 HUGE weeping willows, create a nicely shaded area, in our backyard. They actually keep, our porch, nice and shading. We have a big "Southern Style" porch. Usually, they wrap around the entire house. But in our case, only halfway around. The shade, is very welcome, in the summer! We live in the desert southwest. And we can see 60+ days a year, of triple digits! Those trees, we love them!

Except for one thing, we can't grow anything under their shade. NOTHING! The grass is even beginning to die off. With our 3 outdoor loving kids, this is not good! So I asked my friend for some advice. Because I really want a beautiful, shaded oasis. Like her backyard! Something like this.



What did I learn? We need to buy grass seed, for shaded areas. I didn't even know, that this was available. And Cari gave me a list, of plants and flowers, that do well in the shade. Oh, I was so excited! Then one night, Lola and I were talking. And she sent me this link. Oh boy! It made my day!

Lola actually bought this set. A few years ago. And this was her secret. All along! I had no clue. But she has 2 large pecan trees, that pretty much shade her entire front yard, all day long!

As I hear it, she had a gorgeous lawn. Until those 2 trees, got HUGE! Then she looked for a solution, to her dying grass. The obvious, she had her trees trimmed. But as they matured, she had the same issue. All the grass, surrounding the trees, was dying.

That's when Lola bought 2 of these sets. And planted the bulbs, around the tree trunks. It added a lot of depth, and color to her yard. Not to mention, curb appeal! And I just LOVE all the flowers! :)

Over the years, she's added many other plants and flowers. Many that Cari suggested. And that I've found, easily in our local nurseries. But I think, this is a good start for me.

Until now, I've gone out, and bought large planters. And every year, I've planted flowers in them. Things that you can find at Lowe's, Wal-Mart, or the local nursery. But they die quickly. I know now, it's because they needed more sun. And the constant moving of the planters, wasn't helping. Either my plants were in the shade, or in direct desert sun. Now I know!

Anyway, I ordered 4 of these sets. I hear that all these plants and flowers, should come back, year after year. So I was OK, with the investment. Sunday, Billy and I planned and dug, our way, through our shade. Because our trees sort of border our grassed backyard, it made it easy. We planned out the planting. Along the porch, around trees, and even along the tree line. On the backside. When these plants mature, it should look nice. Until then, we need to remember where we planted things. I'd HATE to mow down our plants!

I spent most of Monday and Tuesday mornings, planting. That would be 100 bulbs! In case you didn't notice this. I've been watering the area. And watching. I know, it's been less than a week. But I'm anxious!

And on top of that, I went to the local nursery. And bought a few plants. For our planters. Shade loving plants. They added a little color, to our seating area. I'm hoping that by Summer, we'll have some nice color. Oh, I'm so excited! Can I call myself a gardener yet? This is the first time, I've planted something from a seed, or bulb. And honestly, it wasn't that bad!

~Manders

MAC Creates Crazy!

I don't usually talk about MAC's makeup collections. Honestly, it makes me mad, that they come and go, almost every 2 weeks! I don't know anyone, that can afford that. The collections usually consist of $600-1000 worth of makeup. That is sold, for a very limited amount of time. With a limited quantity. Leading to craziness!

In fact, I try to not talk too much about them. Even in "real life." But I will admit, that I do enjoy products, from the various collections. I know! But it's the truth.

The problem with these collections is, I fall in love with a certain product. Then I'm not sure, if I should use the product. Or save it. When I finish a "Limited Edition" product, I'm usually sad. I've more than likely, looked for a "dupe." Usually, with no luck. Because, that's what MAC does. Create craziness!

But in the latest collection, Too Supreme, there are some beautiful lipsticks. That are going to be a permanent part, of MAC's collection! Oh yes! That sparked my interests.



Last week, I took my twins on an adventure. To the mall. Over 90 minutes away. So I could drool, over these new lipsticks! They're actually called Sheen Supreme Lipsticks. And the finish, is beautiful! It gives a similar finish, to MAC's Lipglass.

These lipsticks, sell for $14.50 a piece. Don't have a heart attack! I'm sure if my Mom, or MIL, are reading this, they're about to fall over! This is a good deal. As good as "high-end makeup" goes. Because these lipsticks, are almost like a 2-in-1 product. Lipstick, and lipglass. That takes the price, in my head anyway, down a bit. Oh, and this is not even close, to the most expensive lipstick I own. Mom and MIL, pretend like you didn't read that! :)

I've been wearing these lipsticks, since I bought them. Every day! There are some absolutely beautiful colors! I'm not going to lie, I came home with a few. And plain on picking up, a couple of more colors. On my next visit. Now if MAC could only do this, with some of their other products, I'd be a happy woman!

~Manders

New in 2012: The Twins Ride a Horse...

Before, I sound utterly insane, let me share, some important things with you. I married a cowboy. A genuine cowboy. That once rode bulls. It got him through college. And for a while, Billy did this for a living. I KNOW! This is INSANE!

But I still LOVE my hubby so much! And I'm so grateful, that by the time we met, he had gone on, to a much safer job. :) He still rides, from time to time. With his buddies, or brother. And it still makes me nervous, as heck! But I'm grateful, that he understands, his health is much more important to me. And our kids.

Well, it must be in the genes. Lauren picked up Mutton Busting. When she was just over 2 years old! It's stressed me out! Since that very first day. But I'm Momma. And I must let her little wings, learn how to fly. I know. Within reason. But in a "Cowboy Family," these are just "normal" things. Normal things, that make my heart beat faster, than normal!

Animals, are no stranger to my kiddos. Not at all! Not when your husband, and in-laws, sell cattle and livestock. Not when you own horses, chickens, sheep, cows, ducks, pigs, and just about any other farm animal, that you can think of!

I bet you never saw that coming! Not from this makeup loving girl. But it's the truth. I grew up in a mountain community. One that would liven up, in the winter. When all these skiers would come to town. Me? I was much more interested in makeup, clothing, and jewelry. I left my family, for the "Big City." And I began my "Beauty Adventures."

I went Beauty School. Where my days were all about makeup, hair, and beauty. Every day, was about the latest trends, and fashion. I was very comfortable with that. But it all changed. That day, when I was working, and spotted Billy.

Literally, weeks later, I was moving to the small town. Where we currently live. And I was learning how to ride a horse. To be honest, I'd ride with my husband. As in, I'd sit right in front of Billy, on the same horse. Until, our daughter started riding. That was years later. But it took me, that long, to get the guts to ride alone.

Yes, my young daughter, has always been comfortable with horses. Billy would take her riding, when she was months old. One of his favorite pictures, is when Lauren was 6 months old. He took her for a ride. On a horse. And I sat and cried. On our porch, the entire time!

It shouldn't have surprised me, when Billy came home, with a pony. My daughter was 18 months old. And I immediately, began to stress out. Billy promised, to wait a while. Little did I know, days later, she begged. Begged to ride her pony. And Billy gave in!

From that point on, my daughter has been on her pony. With a helmet. And for months, her Daddy, would hold onto her. Making sure, that she wouldn't fall off. What I didn't know, was Lauren would love it. ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!

When she was 2, she started Mutton Busting. And darn it, she was good at it! Really good. As in, she won 8 out of 8 competitions, before she was 3! And when she turned 3, she was teaching her pony, how to jump.

Yes, my daughter dances. She LOVES being a ballerina. But her "Cowboy" roots, still pull at her. And she continues to jump, and Mutton Bust. Oh, I'm so worried, about our future. I'm just glad, that girls don't ride bulls. Because I might just die!

Well, right before Valentine's Day, we went to a local Rodeo. Not our first. I'm pretty sure, not our last. Lauren was going to be competing. And we were going to watch some friends. I did not realize, that my twins, would all of a sudden, fall in love, with those horses!



Oh yes! February 11th, changed my life. When my twins would yearn for those horses. Billy and I talked about it. But I just wasn't sure. Why? Why must they want, to do dangerous things? Why can't they stay babies?

Well, Billy and some friends, went to pick up some ponies. 2 to be exact. And we let the twins, get used to them. Petting them. Talking to them. That sort of thing. Which honestly, they're already used to!

The original plan, was to wait until their birthday. I wanted them, to at least be 2. But things don't always work that way. And this week, my heart literally stopped. As our twins took their first rides.

Oh brother! I might die an early death. No lie! But they were so excited! I've NEVER seen bigger smiles. Yes, there were helmets involved. Daddy holding onto Robbie. J making sure Abby didn't fall. They had a blast! Were on horses for 2 hours!

I know. My kids must grow. I NEED to let them grow. To grow their little wings, and fly. Just a bit. But it still worries me. Still makes my heart stop. And makes me say many more prayers.

This week, my twins, looked more like "kids." Less like "babies." I let them do "Big Kid" stuff. And they loved it! Yes, this week, they rode horses. Ponies actually. But you know what I mean.

Don't think we're bad parents. We're not. But we are "Cowboys." And this is how "We Roll!" Believe me, I still stress out! My kids are still not allowed to date, until they are 16. They can't drive until 16 either. Sleepovers, dances, and the such...I'm thinking about that age too. There are just certain things, this Momma refuses to budge on. But I will let them, ride a horse! :)

~Manders

Inspired

I recently got this beautiful e-mail. From Lola. Very inspiring. Thanking many of her friends. She's had a tough battle. I know, personally, that it has meant a lot to her. That her friends have stuck behind her. Honestly, I couldn't imagine, not being here for her. Lola not only has a heart of pure gold. But she is the glue, that holds us all together!

Her words definitely choked me up. In fact, Billy cried as well. It was so touching. It's things like this, that make you realize, just how important friends are. Touching things like this, also let you know, what kind of friends you have.

I have to say this much, we have AMAZING friends. Friends that come together, when times get tough. I've never seen people, rally together, the way our friends do. Plain and simple. God has really blessed us.

Along those lines, Lola included this picture. That just made me think. If you never chase after your dreams, they'll never come true. If you never fight, the fight, you'll always lose the battle. And it got me thinking about her situation.



Life has not been kind. She's fought the battle with cancer. Never wavered. Never given up. Bumps along the way, have happened. In fact, literal road blocks. But she's always pushed forward. Looked for a different way, when something didn't work. What an inspiration!

It means a lot, to be Lola's friend. To watch her fight, the fight. To watch her, be the strong woman, that she is. To continue to grow. And be this loving woman. To all that she meets. It makes me realize, that I have so much room, for personal growth. A place where God can share his grace, with me.

Recently, I've just struggled with life. But I know that I'm lucky. I have an AMAZING husband. 3 beautiful and healthy children. We have a home, food, faith, love, and our health. We are lucky. But I know, that my work with God, is not over. I must pray more. Find more time to reflect. And ask God, to share his grace, with me. I know, that he sent us Lola, to teach us these precious gifts. I know that!

~Manders

Fun Cupcakes!!!

Lately, I've really been interested in baking. I'm thinking, that cold weather, has something to do with that. The weather has been uncharacteristically cold. The wind, we're used to. The cold, not so much!

The twins and I, have stayed inside. Bundled up. We only venture out, to take and pick up Lauren from school. That's it! It's so cold! But it has meant lots of cuddling time. We've done a lot of reading, movie watching, and just hanging out.

I've also done a lot more cooking. I cook every day. But I've ventured out of my comfort zone. Just a bit. Started using my slow cooker more. Opened up those cookbooks. The ones we got when Billy and I got married. And I've been baking.

I'm sure, that by now, you know I'm planning 2 birthday parties. I also have a love affair with boxed desserts. And well, I'm becoming a recipe stalker. While searching for a fun recipe, I found these cute cupcakes. :)




So fun! They remind me so much of Lauren! And I'm pretty sure, that she is going to love them. I'm thinking, maybe Lola and Lizzie can help me make them. Whatever the theme of the party is, these will be perfect! Maybe I can do a test run tonight. Because the more I look at this picture, the more I want these cupcakes!

~Manders

A Night for 2!

That last few days, have been so up and down for me. I'm sure by now, you've read my blog post from the other day. When I was just lost. I've taken the last few days, to just breathe. And get back on the road, to being me. :)

It's funny. The day after I wrote this post, I read this post. And it just got me thinking, I need to get back to me. To being Amanda. I don't know how Sals does it with 5 kiddos. Or how my sister-in-law is handling 5 kiddos, with #6 on the way.

Billy and I decided that we needed a date night. Desperately! I called up my parents. Who were more than excited, to come watch our kiddos. Thanks again mom and dad! We had already bought tickets to the Brad Paisley concert. But we hadn't planned on making it, an entire night out. Initially, we were just going to the concert. But our plans changed. And we decided on a Romantic Night for 2!

That's just what we did. Planned an entire night out. Dinner at our favorite restaurant. Where I didn't care how many calories I ate! We completely indulged. Dessert and all! And off we went. Let me tell you, I COMPLETELY enjoyed the concert! I don't know if I was more excited to see Brad Paisley, or The Band Perry. Both were AMAZING!!!



We'd never seen The Band Perry perform live before. I was hoping it was going to be good. They're one of my favorite bands! And honestly, the reason we were going to this concert. When The Band Perry performed...I LOVED IT! This was the first time, that I've seen them live. And I want to see them again. :) They were that good! I just love Kimberly's hair! It's so fun! And let me tell you, I've had all these emotions going on this week. Well, during The Band Perry's show, I sang, danced, cried, and laughed! It really was a good show!



We've seen Brad Paisley in concert a few times now. I'm positive, that he just gets better with every show! We had a blast! Singing and dancing to our favorite songs. It didn't hurt, that we got to enjoy the concert, with some of our closest friends. :)

Scotty McCreery performed too. He was good. But not the reason we were there. I guess I'm just neutral when I talk about him. Mainly, because I've only heard 1 of his songs, prior to the concert. But I bet he turns into a big star. He's just got the making of one.
Date night, was just what Billy and I needed. We even ended up, staying at our favorite B&B. My parents were so incredibly generous. And stayed with our kiddos late, today. It was the perfect way, for me to start recharging my batteries.

Billy and I, agreed, we need to do this for both of us. And a lot more often. It will make us a happier, and ultimately, more loving couple. And in return, better parents to our kids. Even better role models. It's amazing how a little dressing up, dinner for 2, and a concert, can make you feel like your old self again!

~Manders

Remembering Those Days...

Have you ever read Sarah's blog? It's one of my favorites. I've been reading it for a while now. And I've blogged about Sarah before. She is expecting her first baby, baby Jane. Any day, Sarah's sweet girl, will be here. But when I saw this picture, it got me thinking...



I was thinking about that time, right before Lauren was born. I was super excited! I knew that I was having a little girl. And I would dream about her. Dream about all the fun we'd have. The time we'd spend together. All the cuddling we'd do.

At the same time, I was miserable. Everything hurt. I was beyond uncomfortable. I wanted to have my baby. I wanted to feel normal again. To see my feet. I was getting anxious. I started to think, about all the things I didn't know. How in the world, was I going to get through this...

Those last few days, were the hardest. I didn't know what to expect. I was feeling horrible. I was silently, having these meltdowns in my head. I was somewhere between being pregnant, and being a real mommy. I'd felt like a mom, since the day I found out I was pregnant. But I really hadn't experienced everything that the label meant. Not yet.

I've been thinking about Sarah a lot. Praying for her. I don't know her. I've posted a comment here and there. Sent her a handful of emails. But I really don't know her, beyond her blog. But being a mommy, just makes you want to support, the newest members, into our little club.

It's funny. Those last few days, before my baby was born, seemed like forever. But there's something about them, that I'd like to experience again. Something that was so magical. Unknown. And peaceful. I hope that Sarah, can find some of that same peace too!

~Manders

Being Honest with Me

My kiddos, my gifts from God, have been in bed, for less than an hour. My hubby, the sweet man that I love, is hard at work. He's finalizing all these plans, for a work trip. That we're leaving on, this weekend. And I'm sitting here, feeling incredibly lost...

If you've noticed, I've blogged more this week, than I usually do. I'm feeling a bit lonely. A bit lost. A bit...well I can't put my finger on it. My life, is everything I've ever wanted. Plus more! I have this incredible man that I love. And whom I know, loves me in return, more than any one person can love. We have 3 amazing, and healthy children. A beautiful home. Food on our table. Health. A good and steady income. Which these days, is not common.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for all these things. But something is missing. And I can't put my finger on it. I just don't know what it is. But it's bothering me. Do you ever feel this way?



I think I've been panicking about things, that I just can't control. We were supposed to go to Texas this Friday, but it just didn't work out. And you know what, it really bothers me. I was looking forward, to spending time with Billy's family. And I was honestly, looking forward to spending some time on the Ranch.

Lizzie and I, just haven't been spending much time together. I know. We're both married now. We live about 90 minutes away, from one other. But I miss my sister. The weather hasn't helped either. It makes the roads bad, and then neither of us, wants to travel. Even when we've planned to.

Speaking of the weather, it's also made me a bit sad. Or restless. Maybe both. The kids and I leave to take Lauren to school. But we only get out of the car to take her inside. And maybe for a quick run to the grocery store. We then stay inside, all day. Until we go pick Lauren up. There are the drives to church, and dance practice. But that's it.

I'm 100% positive, it's bothering the entire family. But it's been so cold. And more windy than normal. The wind is so strong. I know the twins can't handle it. Heck, I have to carry them, when it gets real bad. Because they just can't stand up. My poor babies!

But all these things are wearing on me. I can feel it. I'm so tense. I can't turn my thoughts off. I almost feel like I'm panicking. Somewhere deep down inside. It's so nuts, that I was literally mad at the TV, on Monday night. Because we weren't getting a signal. The weather was that bad. Our kiddos were asleep. The internet connection was weak. Billy was working. I just got frustrated, and went to bed. I wasn't even sleepy!

Today, I called my friend. Lola always has this amazing outlook on life. If you read her blog, or have the pleasure of knowing her, you know what I mean. :) She's positive, during the worst of times. She has had to battle cancer, off and on, for a few years now. And she never once, gets mad. Or asks why. She just smiles, and looks for the good in life.

I knew, in my heart and soul, that I needed to talk to her. I spent the twins' nap time on the phone. Telling her what was going on. How I was feeling. And she just listened. Reassured me, as I cried. And in the end, she had some words, that just hit home.

What did Lola tell me? To just hand over my burdens to God. To pray. To pray hard. With my entire body, mind, spirit, heart, and soul. Just pray. And really mean it. To ask God, to carry some of these burdens, as I work through them. One at a time. And to talk to Billy. I've been bad about that. I've been keeping all this inside. He knows that something is bothering me. But I just refuse to burden him.

I know this is wrong. He's my husband. My partner. The man that has promised, to go through life, by my side, loving me. I know this. But sometimes, I just don't want to bother him. Then Lola reminded me of this guy. And how he has this incredibly crazy schedule. Lives in the spotlight. And that she still turns to him. When things are too tough for her, she leans on him. And he loves more for it. Happily helping her, through some of her toughest problems.

Lastly, she reminded me of my 3 beautiful babies. My entire life revolves around them. I remember as a little girl, praying to God, to let me be a mommy one day. And my dreams came true. I was blessed with 3 beautiful and healthy children. That love me. And have taught me so much. I need to remember that. Remember that they're the reason, I push forward.

Earlier tonight, I talked to Billy. Really let him know what was bothering me. Sure, we were doing the dishes. And the kids were watching a movie. But I just needed to get it out. I even called my mom, as Billy took the kids a bath. It helped so much!

In the end, I realize, that I haven't been taking care of me. I've forgotten about myself. I've neglected myself. Put me, last. And if I'm going to be 100% for my family, I need to take care of me. I need to do things, that are going to make me a whole and happy person.

To be honest, all those things that I really enjoy, I've let go of. I can't even tell you, when I last went shopping for me. I have no clue! I used to go browse through the makeup, clothes, and shoes. These days, I buy makeup when I'm going to be working. I shop for clothes, because I absolutely need them. Nothing is getting done out of pleasure.

My days of leisurely reading...I don't know what happened to them. I have a pile of magazines, that I haven't even touched! I have 4 books that I started, and still haven't made it past the 3rd chapter. I just don't do things for me.

Billy and I have talked about this. And we've made a deal. Granted that Lizzie feels the same way. At least once a month, he's going to play Mr. Mom. Just for the day, all day! So I can go see my sister. Nothing too crazy. Just lunch and talking. Billy will stay home with the twins, and get Lauren to school. And dance practice.

I think part of my anxiety is, I've been thinking a lot about my brothers. Robert has really been on my mind. I don't know what it is. Maybe the fact that Robbie acts and looks, just like my brother. Maybe I feel guilty. You know, because I have this amazing life. One that he never got to experience. And I stress about my little brother. When will he return to the USA? He's in the Marines. And is still at war. I worry about him all the time!

I've had a lot on my mind. I don't want to burden my friends. Or my family. But I'm realizing, I can't do this on my own. I know that Sals has her hands full. But I definitely know, she gets this mommy stress. I need to not be afraid, to talk to her. I need to make more time, to talk with Lola. She always keeps my head on straight.

Bless you, if you've made it this far. I rarely, if ever, blog like this. I find blogging to be fun. It's something I do, to make myself feel better. I want to add positive thoughts to the world. I want to share things with my readers and friends. Not burden them!

I miss blogging about silly things...like makeup, shopping, and other hobbies of mine. I need to get back to that. Carve out a little space for me. And my interests. I don't want to lose myself. I want to show my kids, that it's important to stay true to yourself. To add things to the world.

Every morning, I start my day, with reading the bible. But I want to add, some more meaningful thoughts. I go to bible study, once a week. And I want to incorporate some of that, into my morning reading. I've also bought a journal. A place to get all those buried feelings and thoughts out. A little more private than my blog. A place, where I can be honest with myself.

I hope I don't scare anyone away. But I just needed to get this out. Sometimes, mommy-hood can get a little overwhelming. A little stressful. And a little lonely. The important thing to remember is, we're not alone. There are so many mommas out there. That are going through the same thing. And we all have God. He's our biggest supporter.

I'm off now. To soak in the tub. With lots of bubbles. And my favorite magazine. Something I haven't done, in so very long! Billy and I, just might get a little crazy, and break out the ice cream too. The best late night snack.

I hope that this post can help someone else. To show you, that we all struggle along the way. That we're not alone. I'm learning, that I can't plan everything. I can't control everything. I'm discovering who I am. And what I really want. What's most important in life. And I know now, that I deserve it. And I need it.

~Manders

Little Polka Dot Tea Set

It's almost been a year, since Maribel got her tea set, from her Nana. AKA T-Lo. It was her birthday present. And immediately, Lauren was in love with it! LOVE! It looked just like this one. By the way, isn't this the cutest?!?!?! (A potential birthday idea.)



Well, we've searched everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE for this tea set! With absolutely no luck. A $5 toy from Wal-Mart. And it's causing so much stress! Lauren doesn't ask for much. Honestly. But this little set, she's been eyeing it for so long! Lola, Sals, Anna Marie, Emmers, Gabi, Crafty Mom, and Lizzie have all looked. With no luck. :(

It's almost Lauren's birthday. And I'd LOVE to give her this tea set. I've searched online, in stores, and at yard sales. With no luck! So I'm turning to you. My dear readers. Have you seen this tea set? I'd be willing to pay you for it. Please, if you can help, please leave me a comment. Thank you all!

~Manders

Planning 2 Birthday Parties

I spent 3 hours, last night, on this website. Trying to get some ideas. My kiddos' birthdays are in a few weeks. About 6 weeks to be honest! And I have absolutely no idea, what kind of party, we're going to have.



I do know, that we'll throw Lauren her own party. And the following weekend, the twins will have theirs. But that's all I know. Last year, Lauren wanted a Cowgirl and Pony party. That just what she got. :) It was really a lot of fun! And we had a cute Barn Animal party for the twins. This year, I'm all out of ideas!

Sals is planning a Sesame Street themed party, for her twins. Such a great idea. Because they LOVE Sesame Street. Me? I have no ideas. AT ALL!!! Lauren has no specific ideas either. Last year, she knew months ahead of time. This year, she just wants a strawberry cake with whipped cream. :)

Do you have any ideas? We'd welcome any suggestions! Any! To be 100% honest, I'm leaning towards a ballerina or dress up party for Lauren. She's big into both of those areas. And I think that she'd enjoy it. For the twins...I have no idea. What kind of party can I throw my sweet babies?

~Manders

Happy Birthday Hills!

Today is my friend Hills' birthday. We became friends, via Lola. I read her blog. And soon, we became good friends. Hills is such an amazing woman. So strong! She's had a rough few years. But things finally seem to be turning around for her. I've never been so happy for a friend! And today, I just want Hills to know, that we all love her. Happy Birthday!

~Manders

Lalaloopsy Sew Cute! Playhouse...and Abby!!!

J is always calling me. Wanting to steal Abby, for a few hours. He's such a wonderful Godfather to her. Honestly, Abby just lights up, when her Godparents are around!

Usually J and Abby just hangout at the Ranch. She always comes home exhausted! Telling me about all the animals, the swimming pool, and the Big Red Barn! J is just like us. And that's what makes him such a great friend!

I'm not going to lie. J has a habit of spoiling Abby. All our kiddos actually. But Abby has a nice stash of toys, at his house. Even in his office. :) But I was shocked to see this playhouse the other day!



I know that Abby is head over heels in love, with all dolls. Dollhouses are the bees knees to her. We've been thinking of buying her, a playhouse for her birthday. But this is a little over the top! Even for my sweet girl. A $170 toy, for my not yet 2 year old daughter. Given to her, by her Godfather, not us.



Yes, she loves it! And is so good about playing in her playhouse. Billy and I sat there, just watching her play. She was so into it! Had absolutely no clue, that we were there! Talking away to herself. Just playing. Sitting her dolls here and there. Having the time of her life! Really? Yes, she was in love!

J reassured us. It's just a special present. He doesn't regularly buy her these types of toys. It's just something they saw, one day, on a trip to the store. And well, he couldn't resist. Yes, my daughter has her Godfather wrapped around her teeny, tiny, little finger!

I felt better, when we were leaving. And she carefully "put away" her playhouse. And picked up her rag doll. The one that J bought her when she was just days old!

But I still have to laugh, when I think about the scene in J's office! You'd think he was a father of 10! We love you J. But you really don't have to spoil Abby so much. I will say this, we appreciate everything you do, especially the way you love our family! :)

~Manders

The Other End of the Line

Billy and I really enjoy watching movies. I will say, our habits have changed, since becoming parents. We don't really go to the movies much. The movies we want to see, usually aren't what our kids want to see. And when we do go to the movies, it's generally to watch the latest Disney movie.

Since we had Lauren, Billy and I have really built up our movie collection. I won't lie, we just LOVE the $5 bin at Wal-Mart and Target! We buy a few movies, each time we go. But with the holidays and such, we just haven't been watching movies. So our "buys" were starting to stack up.

I decided to pack up a few. When we went to Las Vegas. I figured I could watch a movie, while the band worked. Well, Lola and I decided to watch "The Other End of the Line," one day. While we were getting ready for a show.



This was the cutest movie ever! So sweet. The perfect romantic movie. Something, to just get lost in. And I'm glad, that I watched it with my friend. I just don't think Billy would have enjoyed it, as much as we did. With that being said, I want to watch it again. Hmm, how long will the twins' nap last...

~Manders

Once Upon a Time

I've ALWAYS had a soft spot for fairy tales. When I was little, I still remember a trip to an Antique Store. My mom had taken my brother and I. And there was this big book of Fairy tales. Printed in the 1950s. And I wanted it! So badly!!!

But before we had even gone inside, my mom had told us, we each had $5 to spend. That was it. Because she was there to buy a dresser. For our new baby! My dear book, was $10. Because it was gigantic! My brother had found, a big yellow dump truck. He really wanted his toy too!

I think you know by now, that my big brother and I, were super close. He was just so good to me. Always taking care of me. Robert, was seriously, the best big brother you could dream up! Well, he saw me. Pining over my book...

He came up to me, and asked me what was wrong. I told him, that I wanted this book. It had all these stories. All about princesses, and far off places. The pictures were amazing! But I didn't have enough money. He put down his truck. And picked up my book. I remember him studying it. With such intensity. Then he took my hand, and told me that we'd buy it.

I was in shock! 4 years old, and in shock! I didn't want him to miss out on his truck. But Robert insisted, this was much more important. So I helped him hide his truck. I promised myself, that I'd buy it for him. For his birthday. (I did! And I'll have to blog about that, another day.) And we bought our book.

From then on, we would sit and read together. Robert would read me 1 story, every day. Well into the time, he started middle school. Once, when I had gotten my heart broken, my brother had gone to search for our book. It had been a few years since we had read from it. I was a teen already. And Robert read to me, while I cried. I remember this. Because it was so incredibly sweet!

And after Robert past away, I found myself, going to his grave. To read to him. It made me feel close to my big brother. And it always comforted me. I still have this book. It's so special to me! And I read to my kids, out of the book, that my brother bought me. :)

As you can tell, I've always had this soft spot for fairy tales. When I heard about Once Upon a Time, I just had to watch it! I've quickly become a HUGE fan! For about 3 months now, I've never missed an episode!



I'm telling you, you need to watch this show. It's like the adults' version of our most beloved Fairy tales. I LOVE it! It's like the background, to all of our favorite stories. It's funny, every time that I watch this show, I think of my brother. I think of all those nights, when he'd read me a new story. And in some way, I feel close to him again. Like we're watching this together!

~Manders