The Train

A while back, Lola was telling me about this AMAZING train! That is just a few hours away. And they specialize, in a "Child's Ride." On this, real train. An old fashioned train! Lola and this guy, went on the "Adult version," of the train ride. Back in October. And they loved it!



So I did some research. The train runs from the late Spring, well into Fall. And it sounds like a great idea! The regular ride, is an all day adventure. But the "Kid Version," is just an afternoon. After talking with Billy, we made reservations. I'm positive, that the kids are going to love it!

Between, we're going to stay in a cute, mountain town. For a couple of days. And our friends, Sals and David, are also going on the train! I'm not sure, when they booked their trip. But I sorta hope, that we're all going, at the same time. I think it would be so much fun! 8 kids, and 4 adults. On an open car train. In the mountains. I'm already so excited!

And honestly, I can't wait to see Robbie, on the train. I feel like, so much of the time, he gets stuck doing "Girl Things." Because he has 2 big sisters. And much of the time, we're doing things, that Lauren enjoys. This is definitely, a much more "Boy Oriented" activity. But something, that I'm positive, all of us will enjoy! We've already started counting down...we go in June!

~Manders

They're 2!

Dear Abby and Robbie,

Happy 2nd Birthday! We can't believe how quickly, you are growing up. 2 years ago, we welcomed you both, into our family. The perfect fit! The 2 of you, made our family whole, and complete.

We can't get over, how big you are getting. How quickly time is passing. And how much fun we're having! Sometimes, we just want to press "Pause." Because we know, that soon you will be too big for cuddles and butterfly kisses.

2 years ago, we were anxious to meet you. Lauren talked to you both, every day. Telling you, about all the fun, you'd have. And you know what, she was right. What a fun big sister, you guys have. She helps you 2, get into a lot of fun!

Just a year ago, you were both wobbling around. Really trying to master your walking. Today, you both are running full speed! Riding ponies. And showing me, how real cowgirls and cowboys dance!

These 2 years, have flown by! We've made so many memories. And we look forward, to all the memories, that we still have to make! Most of all, we look forward to, watching you 2 grow. And become amazing people.

We know that we're lucky! To be your Mommy and Daddy. That God sent us, 2 of the most perfect souls. And trusted us, to raise you. And shape you. Into beautiful souls. An amazing woman, and man. Your Mommy and Daddy, are trying their best. But most of all, we want you to know, that we'll ALWAYS love you both! Happy 2nd Birthday!!!

~Love, Mommy and Daddy

She's 5!

Dear Lauren,

Happy 5th Birthday! Sweet girl, where has time gone! I still remember you, being in my belly. Kicking and fluttering about. Kicking, when your Daddy asked nicely. And here you are. All grown up. 5 years old, and in school!

The day you were born, was so special. The time, that the 3 of us spent together, was some of the sweetest time. When you took your Mommy and Daddy's hearts. And you've had them, ever since. :)

Lauren, you've taught us so much. About love. And family. You've shown us the world, in a different light. You've softened your Daddy. And taught your Mommy. You Sweet Girl, made us a family. Something, that we will cherish, all our lives!

All those months, when you were growing inside me, I wanted to meet you. We both did. We imagined, what life would be like. But we could never have imagined, just how amazing, our lives would become! How you alone, would change our lives, so very much!

Today you are 5 years old! So big. And special. The most cuddly, soft spoken, loving little girl. Smart as a whistle! With the biggest heart. We are blessed! All of us! You have taught your Mommy and Daddy, how to be a Mommy and Daddy. To love, in such a different, and amazing ways. And no one, is a better big sister!

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! We hope that God continues to bless you. To continue, to grow in your heart, and soul. To show you, the good in life. And to help you, to achieve all of your dreams. We LOVE you, more than words can say! Happy 5th Birthday Lauren!!!

~Love, Mommy and Daddy

New in 2012: The Twins Ride a Horse...

Before, I sound utterly insane, let me share, some important things with you. I married a cowboy. A genuine cowboy. That once rode bulls. It got him through college. And for a while, Billy did this for a living. I KNOW! This is INSANE!

But I still LOVE my hubby so much! And I'm so grateful, that by the time we met, he had gone on, to a much safer job. :) He still rides, from time to time. With his buddies, or brother. And it still makes me nervous, as heck! But I'm grateful, that he understands, his health is much more important to me. And our kids.

Well, it must be in the genes. Lauren picked up Mutton Busting. When she was just over 2 years old! It's stressed me out! Since that very first day. But I'm Momma. And I must let her little wings, learn how to fly. I know. Within reason. But in a "Cowboy Family," these are just "normal" things. Normal things, that make my heart beat faster, than normal!

Animals, are no stranger to my kiddos. Not at all! Not when your husband, and in-laws, sell cattle and livestock. Not when you own horses, chickens, sheep, cows, ducks, pigs, and just about any other farm animal, that you can think of!

I bet you never saw that coming! Not from this makeup loving girl. But it's the truth. I grew up in a mountain community. One that would liven up, in the winter. When all these skiers would come to town. Me? I was much more interested in makeup, clothing, and jewelry. I left my family, for the "Big City." And I began my "Beauty Adventures."

I went Beauty School. Where my days were all about makeup, hair, and beauty. Every day, was about the latest trends, and fashion. I was very comfortable with that. But it all changed. That day, when I was working, and spotted Billy.

Literally, weeks later, I was moving to the small town. Where we currently live. And I was learning how to ride a horse. To be honest, I'd ride with my husband. As in, I'd sit right in front of Billy, on the same horse. Until, our daughter started riding. That was years later. But it took me, that long, to get the guts to ride alone.

Yes, my young daughter, has always been comfortable with horses. Billy would take her riding, when she was months old. One of his favorite pictures, is when Lauren was 6 months old. He took her for a ride. On a horse. And I sat and cried. On our porch, the entire time!

It shouldn't have surprised me, when Billy came home, with a pony. My daughter was 18 months old. And I immediately, began to stress out. Billy promised, to wait a while. Little did I know, days later, she begged. Begged to ride her pony. And Billy gave in!

From that point on, my daughter has been on her pony. With a helmet. And for months, her Daddy, would hold onto her. Making sure, that she wouldn't fall off. What I didn't know, was Lauren would love it. ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!

When she was 2, she started Mutton Busting. And darn it, she was good at it! Really good. As in, she won 8 out of 8 competitions, before she was 3! And when she turned 3, she was teaching her pony, how to jump.

Yes, my daughter dances. She LOVES being a ballerina. But her "Cowboy" roots, still pull at her. And she continues to jump, and Mutton Bust. Oh, I'm so worried, about our future. I'm just glad, that girls don't ride bulls. Because I might just die!

Well, right before Valentine's Day, we went to a local Rodeo. Not our first. I'm pretty sure, not our last. Lauren was going to be competing. And we were going to watch some friends. I did not realize, that my twins, would all of a sudden, fall in love, with those horses!



Oh yes! February 11th, changed my life. When my twins would yearn for those horses. Billy and I talked about it. But I just wasn't sure. Why? Why must they want, to do dangerous things? Why can't they stay babies?

Well, Billy and some friends, went to pick up some ponies. 2 to be exact. And we let the twins, get used to them. Petting them. Talking to them. That sort of thing. Which honestly, they're already used to!

The original plan, was to wait until their birthday. I wanted them, to at least be 2. But things don't always work that way. And this week, my heart literally stopped. As our twins took their first rides.

Oh brother! I might die an early death. No lie! But they were so excited! I've NEVER seen bigger smiles. Yes, there were helmets involved. Daddy holding onto Robbie. J making sure Abby didn't fall. They had a blast! Were on horses for 2 hours!

I know. My kids must grow. I NEED to let them grow. To grow their little wings, and fly. Just a bit. But it still worries me. Still makes my heart stop. And makes me say many more prayers.

This week, my twins, looked more like "kids." Less like "babies." I let them do "Big Kid" stuff. And they loved it! Yes, this week, they rode horses. Ponies actually. But you know what I mean.

Don't think we're bad parents. We're not. But we are "Cowboys." And this is how "We Roll!" Believe me, I still stress out! My kids are still not allowed to date, until they are 16. They can't drive until 16 either. Sleepovers, dances, and the such...I'm thinking about that age too. There are just certain things, this Momma refuses to budge on. But I will let them, ride a horse! :)

~Manders

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! We have some rather simple plans for today. Billy is making us all breakfast in bed. In fact, I'm supposed to be sleeping still. :) But I could smell the pancakes, and I couldn't will myself back to sleep. I do believe, our kiddos are still snug in their beds.



Lauren has school today. And her goodies are ready to go. We're giving our kids a small treat, and new outfit this morning. And tonight, we've planned an indoor picnic. Spaghetti is on the menu. With these cakes. Which I need to bake! And Lady and the Tramp.

Years ago, we'd plan something crazy. Just my hubby and me. We'd get all dolled up. And hit the town. These days, these simple plans, feel so much more rewarding! Besides, it's all about the people you spend your time with. And I could spend an eternity, snuggling with my hubby and kiddos. Yes, that sounds like heaven to me!

~Manders

My Funny Valentines

This will be the 7th Valentine's Day, that Billy and I celebrate together. :) And I can say this much, I'm more in love with him, with each passing day. I honestly, couldn't imagine what life would be like, without my hubby!

With our itty bitties, it's a little tough for us to get away. Honestly, I don't think either of us wants to leave them. Not even on Valentine's Day! So we've planned some at home fun. Just for our little family!

Billy and I picked up Lady and the Tramp. A movie that our kiddos have been wanting to see. I'm planning a yummy spaghetti dinner. With these cute cakes for dessert. A big bowl of popcorn, with Valentine's M&Ms. And lots of snuggling.

We've made treats for the kids, and decorated the house. Lauren's Valentines for school, are ready. And love is definitely in the air! I can't wait for tomorrow to come. To celebrate this day of love, with my funny Valentines. :)




And this song, ALWAYS reminds me of my amazing hubby. This man that God sent me. To love me. To live this life with. To grow our family together. It's just #7 for us. I can see us celebrating well into our 90s!

~Manders

Fun Dessert!

Do you remember me blogging about Shay? She has this amazing cooking blog! Yum! Well, I was catching up on my blog reading, and I came across this picture.



Conversation Cakes! What a great idea. Now I know, what special surprise, I'm making for my kiddos. On Valentine's Day. I know, they just love them! Now I need to decide, what color to dye them. :)

~Manders

Happy New Year's!

Happy 2012! I just can't believe that we're starting another year. Why is time moving so quickly? Wasn't it just 2006? And I was still a newlywed...



I hope that everyone had a safe and fun celebration. My hubby and I were working. But we can't complain. Our job is fun! Not many people get paid to do what we do. We work with our friends. Who are very much our family. Doing what we enjoy. I get the chance to do Lola's hair and makeup. Billy gets to sing and perform.

It was an amazing evening. After the BBs performed, we got to hang around. And were VIPs to our bosses' VIP party. Afterwards, a little breakfast with our friends was in order. Then to our room. We haven't had much sleep. But we're going to spend the day with our kiddos. :)

I couldn't think of a better way to start 2012. Ringing in the New Year with friends. And spending the day with our kids. We have another show tonight. But we still have hours of fun, with the most amazing 3 kiddos I know! From our family to yours, we hope that 2012 brings you much happiness, health, and good fortunes.

~Manders

Bunny Baskets

I was so excited to see these little baskets today! These Bunny Baskets are the free pattern today at Free Crochet. Just adorable! I've got to read the pattern. But I'd like to make one for each of my kids. I just can't help but smile when I look at them. :)

~Manders

Lauren's Doll House

All Lauren talked about for months, was a doll house. She has one, at my parents' house. She has one at my in-laws house. But not at home. For months, leading up to Christmas, it's all that was on her mind. It was the only thing she wanted from Santa. The ONLY thing on her list!



This is what Santa brought Lauren for Christmas. And she was so EXCITED! It's like the "Doll House of a Little Girl's Dreams!" No lie. My little one is just in love! The little doll house has already provided hours and hours of playtime for Lauren.

She has already had a few play dates with Maribel. And they have enjoyed this beautiful doll house. Can you tell that I enjoy it too? Would it be horrible if I played with it, when Lauren is sleeping? I never had such an amazing toy.

We didn't spoil our kids for Christmas. We did buy them gifts. But we didn't go "overboard." But Billy and I tried to buy all 3 of our kids something that they'd love. A bigger present than we'd usually buy. But something special.

I know without a doubt, Lauren is super excited over her present. And I'm really glad. I feel like she's given up a lot since we've had the twins. Especially time. But also in what we give her. So it's really nice to give Lauren something that she really wanted. And yes, she has 2 doll houses. But those were given to her by her grandparents/Godparents. And they're at their homes. So this was a perfect gift for my little girl!

~Manders

Children's Nativity Scene

With Christmas just around the corner, our house is completely decked out! Those are Billy's words, not mine! But we have everything up. It looks beautiful. :)



And the newest addition to our decorations, this cute Nativity Scene that my parents bought the kids. It's "Child Friendly." And just perfect. In fact, my parents read to the kids tonight. From their "Children's Bible." And all 3 of our kids held tight to a few pieces. I can see this set getting used plenty while they are growing up! Definitely an addition to our holiday traditions.

~Manders

Halloween Costumes

It's October 1st. Halloween is at the end of this month. And somehow, we've managed to get our kids' Halloween costumes! Can you believe that? I think it's nuts! But we somehow managed that. I'm so happy! And our kids are going to looks so cute!



Robbie is going to be a cow! Yes, a cow! Billy and I decided to dress up the twins as farm animals. And Billy picked out Robbie's costume. I think it's too adorable! And Robbie just looked too cute when we tried it on him. :)



When I seen this pink bunny, I knew that Abby was going to be a bunny. I just died when I saw this costume! And Abby looks adorable. She really like looking at herself in the mirror. We left her in the costume for about an hour. Because she was so mesmerized with the mirror! :)



And our big girl Lauren, she picked out Alice. From Alice in Wonderland. Mostly because Lola bought her the story book for her birthday. Since, Lauren has been mesmerized by the story! I know she is going to look so cute!!!

What do you think? I think my kids are going to look too cute! And unlike many years in the past, we're going to be home for Halloween. So I'm pretty excited! I think the kids will enjoy trick or treating. And my parents are pretty excited about spending the evening with us!

~Manders

I Am a Child of God

"But to all who have received him-those who believe in his name-he has given the right to become God’s children." John 1:12

I've always been tough on myself. I am the oldest girl in my family. 2nd oldest in my family. And after my brother past away, I felt like I needed to take care of everyone.

The last 9 months have been tough. I can't lie. I've been trying to be "Super Mommy" and "Super Wife." Slowly, I've been losing myself.

It might have something to do with my need for perfection, in my life and in my home. No I'm not that mom! I'm actually the "Fun House" for play dates. I like to let the kids play with play doh, finger paints, etc. But I like for our house to be clean. At night, I want to go to bed knowing that everything is in it's place. That our clothes were washed, dried, and put away. That our kids' toys have made it to their toy boxes. That sort of thing. Oh, and that all the dishes are washed and put away!

But I never estimated what a set of twins would really do to my life. I love these 2 little babies like nobody's business. I LOVE my 3 kiddos with all of my heart. But life has been crazy!

It started with my 6th month of pregnancy. When life started to get really tough. Traveling was beyond hard! Work exhausted me. And Billy noticed. So he asked his Dad if he could do more of the busy work stuff. Not so much of the traveling. The stuff that allowed him to be home. And I didn't do any jobs until after the babies were born.

Even our daily schedules changed. Since Billy and I first got together, I would get up at 4:30am with him! Every morning. He would shower, and I would make his breakfast. For anyone who is married to a cowboy, this is pretty normal. Sometimes we were up at 3am! I'd eat too. He'd go to work. I'd shower. I'd check my email, do online stuff, and then take a 2-3 hour nap. Then my day was back on track.

Month 6 of my pregnancy, Billy started making his own breakfast. Letting me sleep. He was starting to understand how difficult it was going to be with twins. And I have to say this, he's been wonderful! He would take the girls to their Dance classes on my days. And I have to admit it here, there were plenty of nights when I fell asleep before Lauren did.

After the twins were born, Billy remained at home. I know after the first of the year, that will change again. But it's been a blessing thus far! He has only left out of town for big gigs. Oh, and that hunting trip that I made him go on. He needed a break too!

But it's tough. I'm "on call" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I breastfed Lauren. But that was nowhere near this. Breastfeeding twins. I feel like at all moments in the day, I have a child or pump attached to me. But I want to do this for them. It's the one thing that I can do right now, that will improve their health over their lifetimes.

And there's Lauren. I always feel so bad. Like I don't get enough time with her. She is in her dance classes Mon-Fri, 8am-noon. And at least 1 Saturday a month, she performs. I feel like we don't have as much time to spend together. And I guess what really stresses me out is, in 1 year, she will be in pre-school!

The other night, I just broke down. I had just put the babies down. Billy had read to Lauren. And she had fallen asleep before I got to tell her goodnight. I went downstairs, and I realized I had left wet laundry in the washer. The dryer also had a load of wet and very stinky clothes. And the sink was overflowing with dinner dishes.

Literally, I sat on our stairs and cried. Billy was outside with the dogs. Letting them do their business before bringing them in for the night. And he saw me. He had no clue what was going on. I just sat there crying.

Like his usual self, he came in to see what was wrong. He didn't ask me anything. Just scooped me up in his strong arms and let me cry. And when I was done crying, I spilled the beans. It was tough to admit that I can't handle it all. But it was also such a HUGE relief!

Today in church, the priest told us a story about a woman. And he read the scripture, John 1:12. It just hit me. I'm a child of God!

It doesn't matter if our home is spotless. Or if I had to dry and rewash 2 loads of laundry. Or that my husband washed the dishes. And the next morning I had to rewash them. He tried his best! Heck, it doesn't matter if by dinnertime, my hair is in a messy bun, I've got baby cereal on my shirt, the twins are in onesies, Lauren has one 2 different socks on, oh and I might have burnt part of dinner.

Because my kids are happy. And healthy. They're clean and well fed. Our home is clean. Not spotless, but clean. I love my husband, and he loves me. We have an amazing family. And great friends.

So I might not get to have breakfast with Billy every morning. I can't leave my babies for more than 2 hours at a time. And that's pushing it! I schedule time with Lauren, when her siblings are napping. I don't wear makeup most days. My hair is in a permanent messy bun. And I can't remember the last time I went out to lunch with my friends.

I LOVE my life! It's not perfect. But that's not the way life is supposed to go. The constants that I have, are my friends and family. I owe a lot to Lola. Who doesn't mind listening to me cry, my kids screaming, and my never-ending list of worries. She's here for me. Even if we live so far from one another.

That's what God has given me. Amazing friends. And loving family. That's what life is about. I get to snuggle with my babies. I feed them and watch them grew healthy and happy. I get to hug my daughter. And play dress up and dance around the house to "Princess music." I get to make love to my hubby. Maybe not as often as I'd like. Not going to lie here, some nights, I fall asleep with my kiddos. Before they are asleep! And I get to chat with Lola. About the problems in my life, about her amazing love story, and silly things...like makeup.

I'm a child of God. And I'm proud. He has given me struggles. But he's also blessed my life so much! I don't need to be so hard on myself. Because I was not created to be perfect. But to serve the Lord. To grow healthy and beautiful children. To love my husband. And to do great things in the Lord's name.

~Manders

PS I wouldn't mind a little "Couple Time" with my hubby. I'm just saying...you know, we just had an anniversary! :)

Our 5th Anniversary

Dear Billy,

I can't believe it's been 5 years! Where has the time gone? It feels like just yesterday I was meeting you for the first time. Don't let me forget to buy Lola an amazing gift too! She's the one that introduced me to you. And completely changed my life forever!

5 years ago, I thought I was in love with you. I thought it wasn't possible to love anyone more than I loved you, at that very moment, when we said "I do." But I was wrong. Every day that passes, I love you more and more. Isn't that so crazy how that happens? But it has. And every night, I can't wait to get into bed with you. To feel your strong arms around me.

Then there are the 3 little miracles that we made together. Just looking at them, I know that there is a God. He is the one that made it possible to have such amazing children. Part of me, and part of you! We are so lucky!

You are the beginning and end of my world. My day never starts off right without a kiss from you. And nothing feels more complete, than making love to you before bed. I'm a very lucky woman. To have a man like you to love. And who loves me.

The last 5 years, they're just the beginning to our story. We still have a lifetime to live together. We Mr. T, go together like peanut butter and jelly! I LOVE YOU more than any words can ever say. And I can't wait to grow old with you. My Love, Happy Anniversary!

~Manders

1 Month Old

Today, our babies are 1 month old! I can't believe it. The time has just flown by. We're already seeing Abigail and Robert's personalities shine through. Both are very laid back babies. The only time they really fuss is when they're hungry. Or when they can't touch each other.

We tried to put them in their own cribs, and they cried. So both babies sleep in the same crib. And they hold hands while they're sleeping. It's honestly, the cutest thing I've ever seen! Lauren is so gentle with "her babies." I think she is still a little bummed out that they didn't come on her birthday. But she's excited that they were born on T-Lo's birthday.

I just can't believe how quickly the time has gone. Lauren is in AZ having fun. She's dancing with her dance class. And every time we talk on the phone, she wants to talk to the babies. I can tell, she's already such a good big sister! We really do miss her right now. And we're going to wait until she gets back to celebrate the twin's 1 Month Birthday!

The only thing that could make my day better is to have Lauren here with us. But I know she is having a lot of fun! Oh, and today, I turn 30. Shh! Don't tell anyone! :)

~Manders

3 Years Old!

I still can't believe it. Lauren is 3 years old today! She's not a baby anymore. But a little girl. One who is praying for "her babies" to be born today. Don't tell her, but they're happy inside their mama's tummy. I'm hoping they come soon, but I really don't think my 3 kids are all going to share the same birthday.

But my little girl, she looks and acts so big now. I love how she packs her little dance bag every night before bed. The way she scrunches up her face when she prays. Lauren makes bedtime prayers last at least 30 minutes, that's how much love she has to give. And all she has been able to talk about for the last month is "her babies." Lauren is so big, that she likes to help me fold laundry now. And honestly, my favorite time of the day, is the morning. When Billy leaves for work, Lauren snuggles her way into our bed. Snuggling with my tummy. Rubbing little circles over her brother and sister. I haven't to admit it, I lay in bed for an extra hour just to get her love.

My little girl is the most lovable girl I know! Those big green eyes make me smile every single day. And her love of lipgloss, well she might have gotten that from me. I just feel so very lucky to have this beautiful girl. I love hearing her call me mama. These 3 years, they've just flown by! I can still remember holding this precious pink baby in my arms. Just seconds old. And knowing in that instant, she had my heart!

When Billy and I asked Lauren what she wanted for her birthday, she told us all she wanted was "her babies." When we asked what else, she wanted some dolls. My girls is easy peasy to please! But being 9 months pregnant with twins, well it hasn't allowed for me to do much. Daddy went shopping. And he wrapped all the presents last night. I have no clue what we got Lauren. Except for a few things that I ordered from Etsy. Billy even took care of the cake! And her birthday party this weekend, we're just praying it happens. :)

Today, we're just going to enjoy Lauren at home. We're having a special day of cooking by Billy. He's such a good daddy! And tonight, we'll have cake and ice cream. I'm so excited to spend the day with my Big Girl!

~Manders

Our Exciting News!

Now that our families know our news, it is time to tell our friends. On Friday, we found out we are having twins! Yes, TWINS! OK, so the picture maybe a little deceiving, we don't know yet if they are boys, girls, or a boy and a girl. We will find out next week whether they are fraternal or identical. Sometime between 18-20 weeks, we will find out the babies gender.

We are so excited! All of our families are excited too! Lola was just too happy on Friday. I know that she has been bursting at the seams to tell everyone. So have we! Lauren is happy to know she is getting 2 babies now. This also answers my question, "Why am I already so big?" My belly popped a couple of weeks ago. Yes, I have been showing. I know I am slim, but this explains a lot! I guess I also have to change my label from Baby to Twin Babies. We are excited to meet out twins. Just 28 weeks to go!

~Manders

I'm on Twitter

I joined Twitter today. Let's see how well I use it. Because I haven't been doing real well with MySpace. I've all but neglected my page for about a year now. Most likely because most of my friends have stopped using it. We now chat in Lola's private chat room thing. That is nice because we make little "chat dates." It's all on live cams and we share lots of personal pictures. All without worrying about them getting into the wrong hands.

After seeing that poor mom, whose baby was placed on Craig's List for adoption, I am pretty certain that I will not post pictures of Lauren and the new baby. I will post pictures of other things, but my kids are too precious to me. I could not even begin to imagine what I would do if that would happen to us. For now, we will stick with twitter. And see if I actually "stick with it."

~Manders

Quiet Time

Billy took Lauren to ride her pony. She was all decked out in her pink Wranglers, "Cowgirl Up" shirt, pink boots, and hat. Just like her daddy. She is a cowgirl at heart. That is what first attracted me to Billy when I met him. Those Wranglers, his green eyes, and that Texas twang. Miss Lauren is just like her daddy. But also a princess in every way imaginable. I watched them leave. Hand in hand. Or I should say, Miss Lauren's hand wrapped tightly around Daddy's pinkie finger. Almost too much for her little hand to hold on to. But with all the love in her heart.

I am such a lucky woman. And I thank God every single day for my family. I have a husband that loves me for being exactly who I am. And we have a daughter that is truly the center of our world. I used to think I would never find this kind of love. Or a man like Billy. Was I ever wrong. I used to be scared that I would not be a good mom. But it just seems natural. And when I first found out I was pregnant again, I was scared I wouldn't have enough love for both of my babies. But I know now, that our love only multiplies.

For everything that I ever thought I was lacking in, God made up for it 1000X's over with my family. Things may have happened quickly, but we are a family. And our love just runs over our cup. We are so very blessed. And I thank God every single day for my blessings.

~Manders

The Little Things

I'm convinced that it is the little things in life that make life worth living.

After Lauren's nap today, she brought me a book. Her favorite one. T-Lo gave it to her when I was still pregnant with her. The Farm Animal book. She climbed onto the couch and sat on my lap. Her head lay on my heart.

I won't lie here. I hadn't been feeling well. I had actually been having my worse day of morning sickness. S had taken the girls to dance practice and had fed Lauren lunch before bringing her home. And as soon as she got home, she wanted to nap. I was half relieved, half grateful to God. And I lay on the couch, eyes closed, with GH on. Praying that Billy would get home early from my parents' house. He had left to help my dad remove some dead trees. And he figured he wouldn't be home until late.

And all at once, my daughter brightened my day. We read about her animals. And she told me that she loved me. And liked to hear my heartbeat. Then with no real thought behind it. She kissed my head and told me I would feel better soon. I almost started to cry.

Then the thing I would pay a million dollars if Billy could have seen. Lauren bent over and kissed my stomach. And started talking to her "new baby." "I love you. I want to play wit you. An kiss you. Be good girl for mommy. I love you." She kissed my stomach again, then rubbed it softly as she lay her head back on me.

By this time, the tears were slowly coming out. I know that my daughter understands that we are having a baby. She understands the love I have for her. And she loves her new baby, even if she has never met the baby. Even if my stomach is not yet a belly. She knows.

~Manders